well I thought maybe I should update. . . mostly cause I have nothing better to do and because I was reading a friends updated journal about posers and life and stuff and (of course) it got me thinking. . .so here goes a tiny rant:

Life sucks. Plain and clear. But everday we have to get up in the morning and go through a day and then everynight we go back to sleep just to get up again in the morning and do it all over again. Purpose? To live. To live up to your fullest. To overcome obsticles and to achieve goals. To find happines. And when all is achieved and overcome what happens? Death. The eternal slumber. Some say a new life begins. Some say there is another world waiting where there is no death but only bliss. But some people have doubts. No one should be blamed for this and no one should be ridiculed. Its not a bad thing to doubt. It's scary. Scary as all hell. after your heart stops beating, when your lungs stop breathing in the fresh air that is essential for life. And then the mind stops. And all stops. And all is black. Then nothing happens. It just stops. No more thought. No more world. Nothing. If there is nothing after, no other world or rebirth, then why would you not want to live life to its fullest? Take risks, take chances, make your path, make your mark. I want to be remebered, not just remembered by my friends and family because that will eventually fade. And once the memory of you is dead then your really gone. Nothing is left. I want to make my mark, I want to be remembered. I want to change even just a little part of this world. Life will take its toll on me and I will show the world how it has changed me from childhood to the years of my old age. I will live my life and proudly claim it as my own. So I will get up each morning and sleep each night, but in between I'll be changing, growing, and living. Maybe life doesn't suck as much as we all think.

The rules:
1. Post all the rules!
2. Write eight things about yourself.
3. Post these things into your journal.
4. Tag eight other people.
5. Visit their journals so that they have NO excuse not to do it!

*I hate gossip
*I play all saxophones
*I love to sing
*a cat is my best friend (sry people)
*I think the human race sucks
*I love musicals
*Love to write
*I like old fashion things
*I suck at drawing. . . (which kinda isn't a good thing on this site)

I tag you!

*sigh* new crush. So cute. So sweet. *sigh* His nickname is E.T. (his initials) I just went to my friends birthday party and he invited like the whole band it was soooooo much fun!!!!!

So i was sitting on the couch with a lot of people (and not enough room) we were all sitting on top of each other. . .It was fun. . .anyway so E.T. was sitting on another couch alone. So everyone was getting uncomfortable and started moving under me so naturally I got up. E.T. looks at me then looks at the seat next to him, then looks at me then the seat, me then seat. So i sit next to him. He takes his arm and pulls my head into his chest and squishes me. (he picks on me. . . and i like it ) luckly i can still breath and i tell him that so he says "I can fix that." and squishes me more. So I say "can Still breath" He takes my head and puts his hand over my mouth and nose. "Okay! Can't breath." He lets me go. We fooled around some more and by the end of it he picks me up in the bride style and flings me onto another couch! lol!

Anyway It was a lot of fun. So at the end he was leaving and he came up to me and his face was inches away. He pokes me in the stomach so i poke him in the chest. Then he left. *sigh*. . . oh did i forget to say that he's four years older then me. opps. I hate age. It wouldn't be soo bad if he wasn't a senior. *sigh* hm. . .new crush. So cute. So sweet. *sigh*

Yeah so Kale broke up with me. I'm okay. He's now dating a bitch-slut-hore that sounds like she's a 12 year old, but we're still friends. Even though he asked her out only three days after he broke up with me! Shouldn't you have the decency to wait a week. jeez.

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So yes. I have finally had my first kiss. It was last tuesday. It was Kale's last day at school for two weeks because he was getting surgery. I went to say good bye to him and we huged and then he kissed me!